[[*Endless Road_______Endless Journey]]*

Monday 21 September 2009

[[My Diet Program]]

It's 21/09/2009 and the first day of my diet regime.

But I'm doing it only because I know I need to lose weight, and not because I enjoy losing weight. I need to lose weight because if I don't, I am faced with the prospect of contracting the many illnesses linked to obesity. On the other hand, I do not enjoy losing weight because it means I have to pass up on my favourite food.

Which is why life can be so screwed up sometimes. Like why must all the tasty food be bad for health, and why must all the healthy food be bland and shitty?

See, there aren't many things an average Singaporean like me can afford to enjoy. One of the things that I can afford to enjoy is good food, and I consider it a great way to de-stress after a hard day's work. Besides, I'm not the kind that likes to go out to party. I'd very much prefer to take life slow, chill out with some friends, or rent a couple of DVDs to watch along with some good food. So why must this one enjoyment come attached with so many complications and problems?

It irritates me when there's something nice that I know I really should have for dinner, but can't have because of its high calories, or high fat content. Sometimes I wish I could escape into an alternate reality where things like calories and cholestrol didn't exist.

Well, maybe that's why they call reality a bitch.

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|08:20|

Saturday 19 September 2009

[[The Cooking Spree Continues]]

Received my exam results today, and am rather happy with it. A couple of As, B+s and Bs. Not too bad I guess.

So I celebrated by... whipping up fried rice, honey glazed chicken and corn soup for dinner for the fourth time this month. Told ya I was on a cooking spree!

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|03:17|

Wednesday 16 September 2009

[[More Foooood]]

Here's another two dishes for the receipe book. Whipped up some fruit and prawn salad as well as minced meat cabbage wrap for dinner today, and they were great! The fruit salad sounded simple enough, but I won't be the last person to say that "cubing" the mangoes and honeydew was a hell lot of work. Well whatever. I'm on a cooking spree, baby!

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|21:09|

Friday 11 September 2009

[[Pork And Apple Chops]]

Okay so since it's the holidays, I've been doing some cooking at home. Here's some photos of the pork and apple chops (as inspired by the Restaurant City application on FB, hahahahaha) that I prepared in my first attempts at being a chef. The smell/taste of the combination of apple sauce and cinnamon was fantastic so I'll definitely be making this more often in future. :p

Besides that, I also made some fried rice with sausages and pork floss as you will see from the pictures below. But... I still prefer the apple chops! Yummy!

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|21:30|

Tuesday 8 September 2009

[[Letters To A Hypocrite]]

Several times, I have been told, "Come back. Let bygones be bygones. Just forgive and forget."

But does an obstinate man who refuse to correct his erroneous ways really deserve our pity? Does a judge refrain from passing a sentence on a repeat offender out of pity for his old age in the courts of law?

What's the point of acting like an angel on Sundays, and then behaving like the devil in the office? Does good behaviour on Sundays make one less accountable for their poor behaviour on other days?

I don't care if a person has a fanciful title such as pastor, because a fanciful title does not equate to a great personality. I also don't care if a person has an attractive status such as millionaire. Please note that throwing filthy money around will not buy one the world, because there are people like me who are not in need of it, and who wouldn't sacrifice his principles and dignity in exchange for it either.

You see, I consider someone who have his employees and his office building's security guard work till 9 or 10pm on most days selfish and inconsiderate. Do his employees and the security guard not have families to attend to? So much for his so-called christian testimony. I guess the christian testimony he used to talk about was only applicable to others, not himself.

I also do not think highly of someone who criticises ex-members for leaving his congregation to join another, and yet welcomes members of other congregations with open arms. If it's wrong for ex-members to leave his congregation in the absence of a higher calling, how would it be right for members of other churches to leave their congregations for his under similar circumstances?

Last but not least, I must admit I have little respect for someone who blames the whole world but himself whenever something goes wrong. To me, he is like a spoilt child in a room full of toys, complaining to his mother how he hadn't received anything new from her all week. And if anything, I think things go wrong solely because of his incompetence.

You know, maybe it's time for those who have a backbone to stand up for what's right and be counted.

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|10:40|

Friday 7 August 2009

[[Happy Birthday Singapore]]

National Day is approaching, and I've been seeing lots of banners in my neighbourhood with the words "Happy National Day" on them. In addition, as if to emphasize the word "happy", these banners contain pictures of adults and children alike, smiling from cheek to cheek.

But why Happy National Day? Why not Patriotic National Day, or Flawless National Day for that matter? I mean, aren't patriotism and flawlessness what National Day should be about?

Then, after spending some time reading and trying to figure out the innuendos on our highly rated daily "The Straits Times", it finally dawned on me.

First of all, I learnt in order not to be misunderstood by our Western allies, that it would be better to avoid the word "patriotic". After all, patriotism is exactly what Kim Jong Il demands from North Koreans.

Secondly, although the word "flawless" would be a... erm, flawless representation of our country's elitist structure, it would nevertheless be considered an inappropriate and insensitive one in the eyes of many Singaporeans, especially to those who only earn one-thousandth the cost of a peanut each month. That, converted into Singapore dollars, is approximately $600,000 / 1000 = $600. And yes, peanuts don't come cheap here in Singapore.

You see, just like we're supposed to be good on Good Fridays and merry during Christmas, we're also expected to be happy during National Day.

But what is there to be happy about?

For one, a recent news article reported that many new citizens volunteered to help in this year's National Day preparations. That is something we should be happy about, don't you think? With the help of our dear new citizens, we've progressed much in the last year - from the intrusion stage to the displacement stage. First it was the displacement of jobs; now there are displaced National Day volunteers. What comes next will inevitably be colonisation.

Secondly, I must admit I'm very pleased with this year's National Day song "What Do You See". I think the singer couldn't have described it better in the chorus, when he sang "You see the moon and the stars...". I feel that aptly sums up what many Singaporeans have been seeing lately. For example, the moon and the stars are exactly what some unlucky Singaporeans see after they collapse in shock upon receiving their retrenchment letters, and are also what the H1N1 patients see as they lie on the hospital beds with their heads spinning.

As for me, I haven't been seeing the moon and the stars. Rather, I have been seeing something much more sinister in my dreams lately. I don't know why, but I've been having dreams of Adolf Hitler, which increased in frequency as National Day approached. In those dreams, the Fuhrer was now in his eighties and had passed on the rule of his country to his 57 year old son. But this has nothing to do with our democratic republic, of course.

Lastly, we should be thankful the haze is back. Not for its acrid smell obviously, but for its part in instilling national pride. With National Day just round the corner, nothing could serve as a better reminder of how we're the only first world country in a region surrounded by tree-burning third world neighbours. Furthermore, the smell of haze acts as a prelude to, and keeps us mentally prepared for what is ahead - the smell of burnt joss paper during the Chinese seventh month.

So you see, there are so many reasons to be happy on National Day. Therefore, even if you are not happy, also try to act happy lah!

Happy National Day, Singaporeans!

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|17:28|

Wednesday 29 July 2009

[[Snowy @ 3 1/2 Years Old]]

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|18:47|

Wednesday 8 July 2009

[[iTunes Radio]]

Maybe I'm WOLS, but I just realised that I can actually tune in to overseas radio stations in iTunes. And there's not just one or two, but thousands of overseas radio stations to choose from.

The awesome part about many of these stations is that they play a particular genre of songs, so I don't have to tolerate with music I dislike. And as you might have guessed, I never bothered to listen to local radio stations anymore after I discovered this amazing feature on iTunes.

iTunes really have my thumbs up!

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|22:52|

Thursday 25 June 2009

[[Humour Mail 12]]

Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an American sat down in the aisle seat.

After takeoff, the American kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I need to get up and get a beer".

"Don't get up," said the American, "I'm in the aisle seat. I'll get it for you".

As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the American's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the beer, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too". Again, the American obligingly went to fetch it.

While he was gone the other Arab picked up his other shoe and spat in it too. When the American returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the American slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"Why does it have to be this way?" he asked. "How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes...... pissing in beers?"

____________________________________________________

Three men were lost in the forest and later captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest with the cannibals and get 10 pieces of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather some.

The first man came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."

The king then explained the second step of the trial to him. First, he had to shove the fruits up his ass without any expression on his face, or he would be eaten. The first apple went in, but when he tried the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed and went to heaven.

The second man arrived and showed the king that his ten fruits were berries. When the king explained the trial to the second man, he secretly thought to it would be easy to shove the berries up his ass. On the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter, so he was also was killed and went to heaven.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!"

The second one replied, "I know, but I couldn't help it. I was doin' just great when all of a sudden the third guy showed up with all those watermelons!"

____________________________________________________

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

____________________________________________________

Things people actually said in court, word for word:

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, do they go up also?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|18:13|

Tuesday 16 June 2009

[[Die Bitch]]

I'm really irritated, so pardon my language.

I hate irresponsible pests who cough repeatedly in my direction without bothering to cover their filthy mouths, especially with this H1N1 flu going on.

Just met one such uncivilised bitch on the bus today. Inconsiderate sluts like her are the reason why the number of H1N1 cases continue to rise.

I just feel that our efforts in trying to shape and encourage behaviour worthy of a first-world country are constantly hampered by such third-world behaviour from such third-world people.

So, thank you for your viruses. Stupid germ-ridden bitch.

Now please cough till you drop dead. And may you die choking on your phlegm.

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|21:26|