National Day is approaching, and I've been seeing lots of banners in my neighbourhood with the words "Happy National Day" on them. In addition, as if to emphasize the word "happy", these banners contain pictures of adults and children alike, smiling from cheek to cheek.
But why Happy National Day? Why not Patriotic National Day, or Flawless National Day for that matter? I mean, aren't patriotism and flawlessness what National Day should be about?
Then, after spending some time reading and trying to figure out the innuendos on our highly rated daily "The Straits Times", it finally dawned on me.
First of all, I learnt in order not to be misunderstood by our Western allies, that it would be better to avoid the word "patriotic". After all, patriotism is exactly what Kim Jong Il demands from North Koreans.
Secondly, although the word "flawless" would be a... erm, flawless representation of our country's elitist structure, it would nevertheless be considered an inappropriate and insensitive one in the eyes of many Singaporeans, especially to those who only earn one-thousandth the cost of a peanut each month. That, converted into Singapore dollars, is approximately $600,000 / 1000 = $600. And yes, peanuts don't come cheap here in Singapore.
You see, just like we're supposed to be good on Good Fridays and merry during Christmas, we're also expected to be happy during National Day.
But what is there to be happy about?
For one, a recent news article reported that many new citizens volunteered to help in this year's National Day preparations. That is something we should be happy about, don't you think? With the help of our dear new citizens, we've progressed much in the last year - from the intrusion stage to the displacement stage. First it was the displacement of jobs; now there are displaced National Day volunteers. What comes next will inevitably be colonisation.
Secondly, I must admit I'm very pleased with this year's National Day song "What Do You See". I think the singer couldn't have described it better in the chorus, when he sang "You see the moon and the stars...". I feel that aptly sums up what many Singaporeans have been seeing lately. For example, the moon and the stars are exactly what some unlucky Singaporeans see after they collapse in shock upon receiving their retrenchment letters, and are also what the H1N1 patients see as they lie on the hospital beds with their heads spinning.
As for me, I haven't been seeing the moon and the stars. Rather, I have been seeing something much more sinister in my dreams lately. I don't know why, but I've been having dreams of Adolf Hitler, which increased in frequency as National Day approached. In those dreams, the Fuhrer was now in his eighties and had passed on the rule of his country to his 57 year old son. But this has nothing to do with our democratic republic, of course.
Lastly, we should be thankful the haze is back. Not for its acrid smell obviously, but for its part in instilling national pride. With National Day just round the corner, nothing could serve as a better reminder of how we're the only first world country in a region surrounded by tree-burning third world neighbours. Furthermore, the smell of haze acts as a prelude to, and keeps us mentally prepared for what is ahead - the smell of burnt joss paper during the Chinese seventh month.
So you see, there are so many reasons to be happy on National Day. Therefore, even if you are not happy, also try to act happy lah!
Happy National Day, Singaporeans!
Name: Darren
Bdae: Dec the 4th
Sign: Saggitarius
Country: Singapore
Location: Hougang
Age: It's a secret :)
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