The Humour Mail series is back! Hope you enjoy them as much as I did!
_________________________________________________________
A young wife, who was becoming frustrated with her young husbands constant demands for sex, decides to make a schedule for him, to cut down on the amount of times that they will have to make love for the rest of their marriage.
While getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of paper, "Honey, you know I love you, but your never ending requests for sex are leaving me drained and really tired. So I propose that we only have sex on days that start with the letter 'T', to minimise the frequency of our lovemaking sessions. Don't be mad at me honey, just understand where I am coming from, and let me know if my request is too demanding of you."
On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator magnet and sticks the note to the fridge door, hoping that her sex craved husband will be understanding and accepting of her proposal when he reads it.
Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator and notices that her note has been replaced with a note from her husband that reads, "Baby, I didn't' realise that I was putting you under so much pressure and I'm sorry.
I accept your proposal and have even taken the extra step of listing at the bottom of this letter, those days starting with the letter 'T' to make sure that we are on the same page.
1. TUESDAY 2. THURSDAY 3. TODAY 4. TOMORROW
P.S. I love you too, and remember it's still TODAY, I am waiting for you upstairs."
_________________________________________________________
"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."
"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.
"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve.
"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"
"I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind - either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."
"Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!"
So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.
"Hi there," says Steve,"It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me."
"Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised."
Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "Shit! THAT'S the word!”
_________________________________________________________
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Mr. Smith asked: "What is the usual tip?"
"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great."
"Is that so?" snorted Mr. Smith. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."
"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."
"What are you studying in school?" asked Larry.
The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."
_________________________________________________________
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida, his wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email, unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, he did his best to type it from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen.....
DEAREST WIFE...JUST GOT CHECKED IN...EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW... P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE.
_________________________________________________________
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"
"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"
"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "80 is the worst age of all!"
"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.
"No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."
"Do you have trouble crapping?" asked the 70-year-old.
"No, I crap every morning at 6:30."
With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so tough about being 80?"
"I don't wake up until 7:00!"
Name: Darren
Bdae: Dec the 4th
Sign: Saggitarius
Country: Singapore
Location: Hougang
Age: It's a secret :)
[[Desires]]
3rd New Zealand Holiday
4th New Zealand Holiday
Canadian Rockies Holiday
Alaskan Cruise Holiday
Visit Melbourne Again
Sign Up For Photography Course
Macbook Air
A Bachelor's
DSLR Camera
Playstation 3
iPod Touch
[[Movies To Watch]]
Clash Of The Titans
Angels & Demons
Night At The Museum 2
Revenge Of The Fallen
Where The Wild Things Are
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus
The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas
The Last House On The Left
The Taking Of Pelham 123
Fireflies In The Garden
Hachiko: A Dog's Tale
The Haunting In Connecticut
Drag Me To Hell
The Lovely Bones
Saints & Soldiers
Slumdog Millionaire
Final Destination 4
Law Abiding Citizen
Public Enemies
District 9
The Cleaner
Sorority Row
Shutter Island
Outlander
Pandorum
Whiteout
Defiance
The Road
Valkyrie
Splice
Avatar
Moon
2012
Up
[[Favourites]]
Down Memory Lane @ Bloglogger Lair
A Tribute To Grandma
The Censorship Debate
I Love Potatoes
Humour Mail 1
Humour Mail 2
Humour Mail 3
Humour Mail 4
Humour Mail 5
Humour Mail 6
Humour Mail 7
Humour Mail 8
Humour Mail 9
Humour Mail 10
Humour Mail 11
[[Quizzes]]
[[Friends]]
Aaron
Alvin
Brendan
Celine
Charlene
Emily
Eunice
Fabian
Joel
Kelvin
Kenneth
Landy
Mango
Nazryn
Pearline
Priscilla
Rachel Tan
Steph
TZ
[[Playlist]]
[[Tagboard]]
[[History]]
|April 2008|May 2008|June 2008|July 2008|August 2008|September 2008|October 2008|November 2008|December 2008|February 2009|June 2009|July 2009|August 2009|September 2009
[[Credits]]
|Ev0nE's World Of Emptyness|
|Ev0nE's Fairyland|
|Ev0nE's Tutorials|
|Blogskins|
|Blogger|
[[Counter]]
