[[*Endless Road_______Endless Journey]]*

Friday 31 October 2008

[[Humour Mail 10]]

Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."

Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance.. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine."

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to.

After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"

Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..."

_________________________________________________________

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son Bob in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough! I'm sick of her, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Boston and tell her," and then hangs up.

The son frantically calls his sister, who goes nuts upon hearing the news. She calls her father and yells, "You are not getting a divorce! Bob and I will be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a single thing, do you hear me?"

The father hangs up the phone, turns to his wife, and says, "It worked! The kids are coming for a visit, and they’re paying their own way!"

_________________________________________________________

Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal.

Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this "pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!"

The wrestler nodded in agreement. Now, to the match The American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening.

All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold! A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the ending.

Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air.

The Russian's back hit the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on top of him, getting the pin and winning the match.

The trainer was astounded! When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asks, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"

The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face. I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could."

"You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!"

_________________________________________________________

Once upon a time, there was an officer of the Royal Navy named Captain Bravado who showed no fear when facing his enemies.

One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, his lookout spotted a pirate ship approaching, and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravado bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"

The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, and while wearing the brightly colored frock, the Captain led his crew into battle and defeated the mighty pirates.

That evening, all the men sat around on deck recounting the triumph of earlier. One of them asked the Captain, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?"

The Captain replied, "If I were to be wounded in the attack, the shirt would not show my blood. Thus, you men would continue to fight, unafraid."

All of the men sat and marveled at the courage of such a manly man's man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The crew stared in worshipful silence at the Captain and waited for his usual orders.

Captain Bravado gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his ship, and without fear, turned and calmly shouted, "Get me my brown pants."

_________________________________________________________

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says, "Ok, old fellow, time to retire."

The old rooster says, "You can't handle all these chickens . . look at what it did to me!"

The young rooster replies, "Now, don't give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike."

The old rooster says, "Aw, c'mon . . .just let me have the two old hens over in the corner. I won't bother you."

The young rooster says, "Scram! Beat it! You're washed up! I'm taking over!"

The old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, "I'll tell you what, young fellow, I'll have a race around the farmhouse with you. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop."

The young rooster says, "You know I'm going to beat you, old man, so just to be fair, I'm even going to give you a head start."

They line up in back of the farm house, get a chicken to cluck "Go!" and the old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him.

They round the front of the farm house and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what's going on, grabs his shotgun and BOOM!......he blows the young rooster to bits.

He sadly shakes his head and says, "Damnit, third gay rooster I bought this week!"

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|18:16|

Saturday 25 October 2008

[[Thoughts Of The Day 25.10.08]]

Was at my cousin's condo to celebrate my grandmother's birthday last week. And his home, it seems everything had cost a bomb. He spent $80,000 on renovation work, which I thought was a total rip-off. I don't think it would have even exceeded $30,000 should the same work be conducted in a HDB flat. In other words, the renovators are bloody fraudsters.

It's amazing how time flies. My older cousins are mostly married now and everyone is asking when it's going to be my turn. Lol. I wonder. But costs of living are so hideously high these days I'd very much prefer to enjoy my singlehood while it lasts rather than be burdened with any additional bills resulting from having a family. In any case, my grandmother must feel really happy that our maternal extended family now boasts a span of four generations.

...

We've probably heard the saying a thousand times, that the rich only gets richer. Well, not unless they first dare to make the move.

I feel the wealthy should not only look to maintain, but to seek to grow their wealth. It's useless being rich if you don't know how or are afraid to invest and manipulate your assets well. Not knowing how to grow your wealth is simply put, letting inflation get the better of you.

Take my cousin for example. The valuation of his condo has risen about 20% since the day he purchased it. And news has it that he plans to buy another one. That's what you do when you are able to afford it - you invest.

My paternal relatives, on the other hand would rather hang on to the two landed properties my grandparents passed down to them, fetching only a miserable $1,900 rent from the lease of one unit. For all I have, I would bet them on the fact they would earn much more if they dared to take the risks, sell the properties and use the millions to buy thrice as many units overseas for the purpose of renting them out, for example.

Kinda sad I don't own the properties and don't have any say on them, else I'm certain I'd be able to utilise them far better. Heh!

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|21:10|

Tuesday 21 October 2008

[[Wake Up Call]]

Maroon 5 - Wake Up Call

I didn't hear what you were saying
I live on raw emotion baby
I answer questions never maybe
And I'm not kind if you betray me
So who the hell are you to say we
Never would have made it babe?

If you needed love
Well then ask for love
Could have given love
Now I'm taking love
And it's not my fault
Cause you both deserve
What's coming now
So don't say a word

Wake up call
Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed
Don't you care about me anymore?
Don't you care about me?
I don't think so
Six foot tall
Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead
He won't come around here anymore
Come around here?
I don't think so

Would have bled to make you happy
You didn't need to treat me that way
And now you beat me at my own game
And now I'm finally sleeping soundly
And your lover's screaming loudly
I hear a sound and hit the ground

If you needed love
Well then ask for love
Could have given love
Now I'm taking love
And it's not my fault
Cause you both deserve
What's coming now
So don't say a word

Wake up call
Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed
Don't you care about me anymore?
Don't you care about me?
I don't think so
Six foot tall
Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead
He won't come around here anymore
Come around here?
I don't feel so bad
I don't feel so bad
I don't feel so bad

I'm so sorry darling
Did I do the wrong thing?
Oh what was I thinking?
Is his heart still beating?

Wake up call
Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed
Don't you care about me anymore?
Don't you care about me?
I don't think so
Six foot tall
Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead
He won't come around here anymore
Come around here anymore?
I don't feel so bad

Wake up call
Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed
Don't you care about me anymore?
Don't you care about me?
I don't think so
Six foot tall
Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead
He won't come around here anymore
No he won't come around here
I don't feel so bad
I don't feel so bad

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|20:56|

Wednesday 8 October 2008

[[Lucky]]

Colbie Caillat & Jason Mraz - Lucky

Do you hear me
I'm talking to you
Across the water
Across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky
Oh my baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooh...

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music
Feel the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ooh...

[[Walking Alone On This Endless Road]]*|19:29|