Darren's Say

My Diet Program

2009-09-21T08:20:00.005+08:00

It's 21/09/2009 and the first day of my diet regime.

But I'm doing it only because I know I need to lose weight, and not because I enjoy losing weight. I need to lose weight because if I don't, I am faced with the prospect of contracting the many illnesses linked to obesity. On the other hand, I do not enjoy losing weight because it means I have to pass up on my favourite food.

Which is why life can be so screwed up sometimes. Like why must all the tasty food be bad for health, and why must all the healthy food be bland and shitty?

See, there aren't many things an average Singaporean like me can afford to enjoy. One of the things that I can afford to enjoy is good food, and I consider it a great way to de-stress after a hard day's work. Besides, I'm not the kind that likes to go out to party. I'd very much prefer to take life slow, chill out with some friends, or rent a couple of DVDs to watch along with some good food. So why must this one enjoyment come attached with so many complications and problems?

It irritates me when there's something nice that I know I really should have for dinner, but can't have because of its high calories, or high fat content. Sometimes I wish I could escape into an alternate reality where things like calories and cholestrol didn't exist.

Well, maybe that's why they call reality a bitch.

The Cooking Spree Continues

2009-09-19T03:17:00.005+08:00

Received my exam results today, and am rather happy with it. A couple of As, B+s and Bs. Not too bad I guess.

So I celebrated by... whipping up fried rice, honey glazed chicken and corn soup for dinner for the fourth time this month. Told ya I was on a cooking spree!

More Foooood

2009-09-16T21:09:00.008+08:00

Here's another two dishes for the receipe book. Whipped up some fruit and prawn salad as well as minced meat cabbage wrap for dinner today, and they were great! The fruit salad sounded simple enough, but I won't be the last person to say that "cubing" the mangoes and honeydew was a hell lot of work. Well whatever. I'm on a cooking spree, baby!

Pork And Apple Chops

2009-09-11T21:30:00.010+08:00

Okay so since it's the holidays, I've been doing some cooking at home. Here's some photos of the pork and apple chops (as inspired by the Restaurant City application on FB, hahahahaha) that I prepared in my first attempts at being a chef. The smell/taste of the combination of apple sauce and cinnamon was fantastic so I'll definitely be making this more often in future. :p

Besides that, I also made some fried rice with sausages and pork floss as you will see from the pictures below. But... I still prefer the apple chops! Yummy!

Letters To A Hypocrite

2009-09-08T10:40:00.009+08:00

Several times, I have been told, "Come back. Let bygones be bygones. Just forgive and forget."

But does an obstinate man who refuse to correct his erroneous ways really deserve our pity? Does a judge refrain from passing a sentence on a repeat offender out of pity for his old age in the courts of law?

What's the point of acting like an angel on Sundays, and then behaving like the devil in the office? Does good behaviour on Sundays make one less accountable for their poor behaviour on other days?

I don't care if a person has a fanciful title such as pastor, because a fanciful title does not equate to a great personality. I also don't care if a person has an attractive status such as millionaire. Please note that throwing filthy money around will not buy one the world, because there are people like me who are not in need of it, and who wouldn't sacrifice his principles and dignity in exchange for it either.

You see, I consider someone who have his employees and his office building's security guard work till 9 or 10pm on most days selfish and inconsiderate. Do his employees and the security guard not have families to attend to? So much for his so-called christian testimony. I guess the christian testimony he used to talk about was only applicable to others, not himself.

I also do not think highly of someone who criticises ex-members for leaving his congregation to join another, and yet welcomes members of other congregations with open arms. If it's wrong for ex-members to leave his congregation in the absence of a higher calling, how would it be right for members of other churches to leave their congregations for his under similar circumstances?

Last but not least, I must admit I have little respect for someone who blames the whole world but himself whenever something goes wrong. To me, he is like a spoilt child in a room full of toys, complaining to his mother how he hadn't received anything new from her all week. And if anything, I think things go wrong solely because of his incompetence.

You know, maybe it's time for those who have a backbone to stand up for what's right and be counted.

Happy Birthday Singapore

2009-08-07T17:28:00.032+08:00

National Day is approaching, and I've been seeing lots of banners in my neighbourhood with the words "Happy National Day" on them. In addition, as if to emphasize the word "happy", these banners contain pictures of adults and children alike, smiling from cheek to cheek.

But why Happy National Day? Why not Patriotic National Day, or Flawless National Day for that matter? I mean, aren't patriotism and flawlessness what National Day should be about?

Then, after spending some time reading and trying to figure out the innuendos on our highly rated daily "The Straits Times", it finally dawned on me.

First of all, I learnt in order not to be misunderstood by our Western allies, that it would be better to avoid the word "patriotic". After all, patriotism is exactly what Kim Jong Il demands from North Koreans.

Secondly, although the word "flawless" would be a... erm, flawless representation of our country's elitist structure, it would nevertheless be considered an inappropriate and insensitive one in the eyes of many Singaporeans, especially to those who only earn one-thousandth the cost of a peanut each month. That, converted into Singapore dollars, is approximately $600,000 / 1000 = $600. And yes, peanuts don't come cheap here in Singapore.

You see, just like we're supposed to be good on Good Fridays and merry during Christmas, we're also expected to be happy during National Day.

But what is there to be happy about?

For one, a recent news article reported that many new citizens volunteered to help in this year's National Day preparations. That is something we should be happy about, don't you think? With the help of our dear new citizens, we've progressed much in the last year - from the intrusion stage to the displacement stage. First it was the displacement of jobs; now there are displaced National Day volunteers. What comes next will inevitably be colonisation.

Secondly, I must admit I'm very pleased with this year's National Day song "What Do You See". I think the singer couldn't have described it better in the chorus, when he sang "You see the moon and the stars...". I feel that aptly sums up what many Singaporeans have been seeing lately. For example, the moon and the stars are exactly what some unlucky Singaporeans see after they collapse in shock upon receiving their retrenchment letters, and are also what the H1N1 patients see as they lie on the hospital beds with their heads spinning.

As for me, I haven't been seeing the moon and the stars. Rather, I have been seeing something much more sinister in my dreams lately. I don't know why, but I've been having dreams of Adolf Hitler, which increased in frequency as National Day approached. In those dreams, the Fuhrer was now in his eighties and had passed on the rule of his country to his 57 year old son. But this has nothing to do with our democratic republic, of course.

Lastly, we should be thankful the haze is back. Not for its acrid smell obviously, but for its part in instilling national pride. With National Day just round the corner, nothing could serve as a better reminder of how we're the only first world country in a region surrounded by tree-burning third world neighbours. Furthermore, the smell of haze acts as a prelude to, and keeps us mentally prepared for what is ahead - the smell of burnt joss paper during the Chinese seventh month.

So you see, there are so many reasons to be happy on National Day. Therefore, even if you are not happy, also try to act happy lah!

Happy National Day, Singaporeans!

Snowy @ 3 1/2 Years Old

2009-07-29T18:47:00.005+08:00

iTunes Radio

2009-07-08T22:52:00.007+08:00

Maybe I'm WOLS, but I just realised that I can actually tune in to overseas radio stations in iTunes. And there's not just one or two, but thousands of overseas radio stations to choose from.

The awesome part about many of these stations is that they play a particular genre of songs, so I don't have to tolerate with music I dislike. And as you might have guessed, I never bothered to listen to local radio stations anymore after I discovered this amazing feature on iTunes.

iTunes really have my thumbs up!

Humour Mail 12

2009-06-25T18:13:00.007+08:00

Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an American sat down in the aisle seat.

After takeoff, the American kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I need to get up and get a beer".

"Don't get up," said the American, "I'm in the aisle seat. I'll get it for you".

As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the American's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the beer, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too". Again, the American obligingly went to fetch it.

While he was gone the other Arab picked up his other shoe and spat in it too. When the American returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the American slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"Why does it have to be this way?" he asked. "How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes...... pissing in beers?"

____________________________________________________

Three men were lost in the forest and later captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest with the cannibals and get 10 pieces of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather some.

The first man came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."

The king then explained the second step of the trial to him. First, he had to shove the fruits up his ass without any expression on his face, or he would be eaten. The first apple went in, but when he tried the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed and went to heaven.

The second man arrived and showed the king that his ten fruits were berries. When the king explained the trial to the second man, he secretly thought to it would be easy to shove the berries up his ass. On the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter, so he was also was killed and went to heaven.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!"

The second one replied, "I know, but I couldn't help it. I was doin' just great when all of a sudden the third guy showed up with all those watermelons!"

____________________________________________________

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

____________________________________________________

Things people actually said in court, word for word:

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, do they go up also?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Die Bitch

2009-06-16T21:26:00.003+08:00

I'm really irritated, so pardon my language.

I hate irresponsible pests who cough repeatedly in my direction without bothering to cover their filthy mouths, especially with this H1N1 flu going on.

Just met one such uncivilised bitch on the bus today. Inconsiderate sluts like her are the reason why the number of H1N1 cases continue to rise.

I just feel that our efforts in trying to shape and encourage behaviour worthy of a first-world country are constantly hampered by such third-world behaviour from such third-world people.

So, thank you for your viruses. Stupid germ-ridden bitch.

Now please cough till you drop dead. And may you die choking on your phlegm.

A Brilliant Conversation

2009-06-14T08:44:00.002+08:00

This is a conversation between Dad and Mr. P.

Mr. P: I heard that your son is studying now?

Dad: Yes.

Mr. P: What course is he taking?

Dad: I don't know.

Mr. P: How can you not know what your son is studying?

Dad: A bit of marketing, a bit of business, a bit of psychology.

Mr. P: Did he seek the lord out as to which is the right course to take?

Dad: Maybe he did, that's why he took this course.

Mr. P: And I heard you're not going for this year's camp?

Dad: No, I'm not going.

Mr. P: Why don't you want to go?

Dad: No, I don't want to go.

Mr. P: Why must you follow those who are not going?

Dad: No, no. I don't follow anyone. I follow myself.

Mr. P: ...

Note: Dad usually buys dinner for Mr. P and some other co-workers. But Mr. P was so pissed after this, he actually got someone else to buy dinner.

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

Rice Balls For Dinner

2009-06-12T09:57:00.004+08:00

Decided to prepare some glutinous rice balls for dinner yesterday. There were two different brands available in the refrigerator, so I tried some of each.

Here's the verdict.

The Spring Home glutinous rice balls were disappointing. As you can see from the pictures below, many of the rice balls had cracks on its "skin", which caused the peanut filling to ooze out upon cooking.

And even though the Spring Home glutinous rice balls came with supposedly "free" grated peanuts, one might ponder the possibility that the cost of producing the grated peanuts played a major role in the manufacturer's ability to offer only 10, compared to its competitor's 15 rice balls.

Also, as a result of having a thicker outer layer than normal, the rice balls were slightly bigger in size. The imbalanced mix of "skin" and filling just didn't taste right.

The Chinatown rice balls, on the other hand, were much better. There were no cracks on its "skin", and certainly no leakages of peanut when boiled. The "skin" of the rice balls was also not as thick as the Spring Home ones, which made them a pleasure to eat. In fact, they kinda reminded me of the glutinous rice balls I used to enjoy at the famous "tang yuan" stall in Clementi.

So, no more Spring Home glutinous rice balls for me in future - Yucks! I'd stick to the Chinatown brand whenever I'm in the mood for some "tang yuan".

PS. This is an independent critique. I am not in any way affiliated with either company.

The Best Of Snowy

2009-06-05T12:08:00.007+08:00

Resignation

2009-06-04T20:23:00.004+08:00

So, many changes for me in recent months. The big one, of course, was leaving my job at Northwest to pursue higher studies. Some ex-colleagues felt I shouldn't have submitted my resignation in the current economic downturn. However, I must highlight that the economic downturn is exactly why I want to further my studies at this time. First, the study loan interest rates are low. Second, the economy will have recovered by the time I graduate - thus leading to better job prospects.

My short tenure at the company has helped me discover two types of customers - the good ones and the unreasonable losers. I must thank the losers especially, for giving me an opportunity to curse them behind their backs. Darren doesn't honour many in such a manner. Haha.

Anyway, it was sad leaving my ex-colleagues as some of them were great to work with. I think my team had some fantastic trainers in Brendan, Sharon and Matthew. They were very patient with us, and were very thorough in their training.

All in all, I think working at Northwest has been an enriching experience. But surely, what is of greater worth is the road that lies ahead...

I'm Back!!!

2009-06-03T21:14:00.002+08:00

Ho! My apologies. Was so busy the past couple of months I only managed to update my blog sporadically. But since I've got loads of time now, you can expect more frequent updates.

Have given my blog a fresh look as well - Hope you like it!

Crossroads

2009-02-24T20:36:00.003+08:00

I've been contemplating whether or not to take up higher studies in recent days.

Thing is, I've been thinking, without a reputable degree of some sort it will be very hard to compete with others on a level playing field in the corporate world.

If I had a degree, I'd land the better jobs, generally speaking. If I had a degree, people don't write me off as easily as they do when there's no notable qualifications on my resume. If I had a degree, my words would carry more weight.

If I had a degree, it'd be much easier to find acceptance and employment overseas. If I had a degree, I'd be able to look at employers and fellow graduates in the eye and talk to them without feeling inferior.

If I had a degree, I won't have to put up with subtle, sarcastic comments passed by conceited family and friends. Oh yes, family and friends. Just when you thought they wouldn't hurt.

I could go on.

There's just so many benefits to getting a degree. Increased self-confidence, increased self-esteem. You know, that sorta thing.

I don't really agree with the ways of the world, looking at academic qualifications with utmost priority, for there are other factors which I consider to be far more important. But this is the way the world operates these days, and like they say, you have to join them to beat them.

That's why insiders, not our enemies, are the most dangerous. Haha.

Dreaming

2009-02-03T08:12:00.010+08:00

I've been dreaming a lot these days. Dreaming about how it could have been if I had taken on the job in Melbourne permanently. Dreaming about the beaches and the sand. Dreaming about trees and hills. Dreaming about how much I enjoyed it while I was there.

I'm dreaming about everything that made my two-month stint there absolutely fantastic and about how I'd do it all over again if I could.

I'm dreaming about what I could be doing if I was there right now. Maybe taking in the cool, crisp air while I enjoy a cup of freshly brewed coffee at a laid-back cafe.

I'm dreaming about how people say our bodies may be here, but our minds' at someplace else.

Also I'm dreaming about being rich. Then I could go there on holiday for a long, long time. Or take up a two or three year degree course there with absolutely no monetary concerns.

Or say, if I knew maybe, Kevin Rudd, then getting permanent residence there would be that much easier. That would work too.

And I'm dreaming how I'd attest to enjoying every moment of harbouring such self-indulgent thoughts in my mind right now. Ha!

Humour Mail 11

2008-12-24T23:10:00.021+08:00

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives..."

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

_________________________________________________________

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure.

A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around.

Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely..."

A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?

_________________________________________________________

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny,"

He turned to the third Mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go".

_________________________________________________________

It's Saturday morning and John's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So John heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.

"Hello?" says a little girl's voice.

"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," says John. "Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Fred."

After a brief pause, John says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Fred, honey!"

"Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"

"Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Fred that my car's just pulled up outside the house."

"Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."

"And what happened?"

"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead."

"Oh, my God! What about Uncle Fred?"

"He jumped out of bed too, and he was all scared, and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool. But he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too."

There is a long pause.

"Swimming pool? Sorry wrong number."

Back To School

2008-12-08T19:20:00.016+08:00

My parents just bought secondary school textbooks and stuff for my sister a few days back, so we thought we'd try her new tie on Snowy. Oooh now our little baby wants to go to school too!

Impression Counts?

2008-11-30T20:47:00.006+08:00

I've recently come to realise what a self-conscious, status-conscious breed we Singaporeans actually are.

Several people I know, have in recent weeks, bought cars and costly properties just to impress people around them. I may be wrong, but they don't look like the type who draws high salaries, so unless someone left them a sizable inheritance, such purchases would leave them drained financially.

Throughout my entire life, I've come across at least four such people with four different motives behind their "buying to impress".

The first kind buys to impress his girlfriend and wants her to think he's rich. The second kind seeks to "wow" people around him who wouldn't otherwise have thought he'd able to afford such luxuries.

The third type buys in response to criticism, comparing him to another person who already owns what he doesn't. Last but not least, there's the fourth type, who feels compelled to make the purchase thanks to peer pressure.

But why spend tens of thousands on things we don't really need instead of putting the money to better use on things we really need?

I am not surprised these people will also be the ones who go around complaining, a few months down the road, that their "money not enough".

Anyhow spend, of course not enough lah!

Good Movies, Where Art Thou?

2008-11-20T12:14:00.003+08:00

My oh my, where have all the good movies gone?

The past three months must have been the most boring months of my life, as far as moviegoing is concerned.

Apart from the occasional "looked promising, eventually disappointing" flicks like Eagle Eye and Mummy 3, all there was to choose from were bullshit films like Hancock, lame, boring romantic comedies like Four Christmases, or animation flicks meant for kiddos. And much less would I even contemplate watching the second rate regional movies, of course.

Which brings me to the following questions. Where have all the blockbusters gone to? And the Oscar-worthy films? What, maybe all the good Hollywood producers have decided to go on a retreat together?

At this rate, I'd be better off concentrating on watching television series as I've been doing for the past three months.

So bye bye my dear cinemas. At least for now.

Humour Mail 10

2008-10-31T18:16:00.004+08:00

Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."

Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance.. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine."

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to.

After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"

Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..."

_________________________________________________________

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son Bob in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough! I'm sick of her, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Boston and tell her," and then hangs up.

The son frantically calls his sister, who goes nuts upon hearing the news. She calls her father and yells, "You are not getting a divorce! Bob and I will be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a single thing, do you hear me?"

The father hangs up the phone, turns to his wife, and says, "It worked! The kids are coming for a visit, and they’re paying their own way!"

_________________________________________________________

Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal.

Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this "pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!"

The wrestler nodded in agreement. Now, to the match The American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening.

All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold! A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the ending.

Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air.

The Russian's back hit the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on top of him, getting the pin and winning the match.

The trainer was astounded! When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asks, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"

The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face. I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could."

"You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!"

_________________________________________________________

Once upon a time, there was an officer of the Royal Navy named Captain Bravado who showed no fear when facing his enemies.

One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, his lookout spotted a pirate ship approaching, and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravado bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"

The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, and while wearing the brightly colored frock, the Captain led his crew into battle and defeated the mighty pirates.

That evening, all the men sat around on deck recounting the triumph of earlier. One of them asked the Captain, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?"

The Captain replied, "If I were to be wounded in the attack, the shirt would not show my blood. Thus, you men would continue to fight, unafraid."

All of the men sat and marveled at the courage of such a manly man's man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The crew stared in worshipful silence at the Captain and waited for his usual orders.

Captain Bravado gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his ship, and without fear, turned and calmly shouted, "Get me my brown pants."

_________________________________________________________

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says, "Ok, old fellow, time to retire."

The old rooster says, "You can't handle all these chickens . . look at what it did to me!"

The young rooster replies, "Now, don't give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike."

The old rooster says, "Aw, c'mon . . .just let me have the two old hens over in the corner. I won't bother you."

The young rooster says, "Scram! Beat it! You're washed up! I'm taking over!"

The old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, "I'll tell you what, young fellow, I'll have a race around the farmhouse with you. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop."

The young rooster says, "You know I'm going to beat you, old man, so just to be fair, I'm even going to give you a head start."

They line up in back of the farm house, get a chicken to cluck "Go!" and the old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him.

They round the front of the farm house and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what's going on, grabs his shotgun and BOOM!......he blows the young rooster to bits.

He sadly shakes his head and says, "Damnit, third gay rooster I bought this week!"

Thoughts Of The Day 25.10.08

2008-10-25T21:10:00.008+08:00

Was at my cousin's condo to celebrate my grandmother's birthday last week. And his home, it seems everything had cost a bomb. He spent $80,000 on renovation work, which I thought was a total rip-off. I don't think it would have even exceeded $30,000 should the same work be conducted in a HDB flat. In other words, the renovators are bloody fraudsters.

It's amazing how time flies. My older cousins are mostly married now and everyone is asking when it's going to be my turn. Lol. I wonder. But costs of living are so hideously high these days I'd very much prefer to enjoy my singlehood while it lasts rather than be burdened with any additional bills resulting from having a family. In any case, my grandmother must feel really happy that our maternal extended family now boasts a span of four generations.

...

We've probably heard the saying a thousand times, that the rich only gets richer. Well, not unless they first dare to make the move.

I feel the wealthy should not only look to maintain, but to seek to grow their wealth. It's useless being rich if you don't know how or are afraid to invest and manipulate your assets well. Not knowing how to grow your wealth is simply put, letting inflation get the better of you.

Take my cousin for example. The valuation of his condo has risen about 20% since the day he purchased it. And news has it that he plans to buy another one. That's what you do when you are able to afford it - you invest.

My paternal relatives, on the other hand would rather hang on to the two landed properties my grandparents passed down to them, fetching only a miserable $1,900 rent from the lease of one unit. For all I have, I would bet them on the fact they would earn much more if they dared to take the risks, sell the properties and use the millions to buy thrice as many units overseas for the purpose of renting them out, for example.

Kinda sad I don't own the properties and don't have any say on them, else I'm certain I'd be able to utilise them far better. Heh!

Wake Up Call

2008-10-21T20:56:00.005+08:00

Maroon 5 - Wake Up Call

I didn't hear what you were saying
I live on raw emotion baby
I answer questions never maybe
And I'm not kind if you betray me
So who the hell are you to say we
Never would have made it babe?

If you needed love
Well then ask for love
Could have given love
Now I'm taking love
And it's not my fault
Cause you both deserve
What's coming now
So don't say a word

Wake up call
Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed
Don't you care about me anymore?
Don't you care about me?
I don't think so
Six foot tall
Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead
He won't come around here anymore
Come around here?
I don't think so

Would have bled to make you happy
You didn't need to treat me that way
And now you beat me at my own game
And now I'm finally sleeping soundly
And your lover's screaming loudly
I hear a sound and hit the ground

If you needed love
Well then ask for love
Could have given love
Now I'm taking love
And it's not my fault
Cause you both deserve
What's coming now
So don't say a word

Wake up call
Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed
Don't you care about me anymore?
Don't you care about me?
I don't think so
Six foot tall
Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead
He won't come around here anymore
Come around here?
I don't feel so bad
I don't feel so bad
I don't feel so bad

I'm so sorry darling
Did I do the wrong thing?
Oh what was I thinking?
Is his heart still beating?

Wake up call
Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed
Don't you care about me anymore?
Don't you care about me?
I don't think so
Six foot tall
Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead
He won't come around here anymore
Come around here anymore?
I don't feel so bad

Wake up call
Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed
Don't you care about me anymore?
Don't you care about me?
I don't think so
Six foot tall
Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead
He won't come around here anymore
No he won't come around here
I don't feel so bad
I don't feel so bad

Lucky

2008-10-08T19:29:00.004+08:00

Colbie Caillat & Jason Mraz - Lucky

Do you hear me
I'm talking to you
Across the water
Across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky
Oh my baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooh...

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music
Feel the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ooh...

Humour Mail 9

2008-09-30T22:43:00.006+08:00

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

_________________________________________________________

A sales representative, an administration clerk, and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, “I'll give each of you just one wish.”

”Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.

“Puff!” She's gone.

“Me next! Me next!” says the sales representative. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.

“Puff!” He's gone.

“OK, you're up,” the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

_________________________________________________________

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”

The priest apologized, “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.

It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

_________________________________________________________

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."

"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens before they're hatched."

"That was a fine story Sarah. Michael, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the Gulf War and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Stay the fuck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."

_________________________________________________________

This is a transcript of an ACTUAL radio communication between a U.S. NAVY ship and Canadian authorities off the cost of Newfoundland, October 1995.

CANADIANS: Please divert your course 15 degrees South to avoid collision.

AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees North to avoid a collision.

CANADIANS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: This is the captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert.

CANADIANS: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

AMERICANS: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

CANADIANS: This is a lighthouse . . . Your call.

Violet Hill

2008-09-24T19:55:00.003+08:00

Coldplay - Violet Hill

Was a long and dark December
From the rooftops I remember
There was snow
White snow

Clearly I remember
From the windows they were watching
While we froze down below

When the future's architectured
By a carnival of idiots on show
You'd better lie low

If you love me
Won't you let me know?

Was a long and dark December
When the banks became cathedrals
And the fog
Became God

Priests clutched onto bibles
And went out to fit their rifles
And the cross was held aloft

Bury me in honor
When I'm dead and hit the ground
A love back home unfolds

If you love me
Won't you let me know?

I don't want to be a soldier
With the captain of some sinking ship
With snow, far below

So if you love me
Why'd you let me go?

I took my love down to violet hill
There we sat in snow
All that time she was silent still

So if you love me
Won't you let me know?

If you love me
Won't you let me know?

China Milk Scandal

2008-09-18T18:29:00.005+08:00

So finally the world has come to realize that cheap doesn't always mean good. Thanks to the recent China milk product scandal. Yes they're made in China, yes they're cheap, but they often also mean a compromise in quality.

While the circulation of contaminated milk products may be shocking, what is even more shocking and disgraceful is how local officials in China initially tried to cover the whole thing up even after consumers complained of poisoning and after they found those products to be truly contaminated.

Which is why knowing so many of our products, food, clothes, toiletries, electronic devices, you name it come from China sucks. Who knows how many of them have faults or flaws hidden behind those cheap price tags? And who knows which known faults or flaws are actually being covered up by those greedy and unethical officials of theirs?

Occasionally we hear people commenting how they don't trust China made products. I must admit I share the same view, and would opt for products made elsewhere if I had a choice.

For trusting China made products is just like trusting the devil...

Snowy @ 2 1/2 Years Old

2008-09-11T13:44:00.011+08:00

Pictures of how Snowy protects my dad's shoes, and of how she takes a shower!!

The Technology Fever

2008-08-31T23:04:00.005+08:00

Not so long ago when I was a child, I'd be contented if I had my lollipops and sugar shots.

These days I'm sure it isn't so easy. Many of us have become a high maintenance species. No strangers to the various fancy technological gadgets available in the market today, we yearn for them, that is if we do not already own them.

And how hard not to, with rampant marketing campaigns portraying these products as simply irresistible. That, not to mention peer influence.

I, personally have bought three technological gadgets, namely a Playstation 3, a DSLR camera and an iPod Touch within just the short span of 10 months. Many others all around the world do likewise, this I can be as sure of as the day.

Sometimes I wonder whether we're buying these gadgets because we really need them, or because the marketing campaigns have bought us over.

Honestly, if we had been given one such gadget ten years ago, we'd probably give it a queer look and toss it aside. How fast the situation changes then, just ten years after.

After all, our lollipops and sugar shots of today are our fancy handphones, multi-functional PDAs and expensive laptops.

Wouldn't you agree?

Thoughts Of The Day 30.08.08

2008-08-30T21:11:00.005+08:00

It's frustrating Apple decided to make the iPhone look almost similar to the iPod Touch.

I have a iPod Touch and I feel it totally lost it's unique identity after the iPhone was released here.

I wouldn't be surprised if some not-so-tech-savvy guy comes up to me and ask if I am carrying an iPhone. Because one will hardly notice the difference between the two from a distance.

Grrrr... No no no.. It's not an iPhone, it's an iPod Touch!!!

...

Some of my ex-colleagues were telling me about how bad the situation was getting in the Order Operations department. Loads of work, long hours, high attrition rate, and all that.

Yeah I know, I already experienced this long ago. And that's why I chose to leave for another department and there I found greener pastures.

Don't be afraid to go for a change if you don't like the status quo, although it means you've got to do a switch, get out of your comfort zone, learn new things and do stuffs you've never done before. Sometimes we've got to take risks to find the bigger and better things in life. Take it positively and move on.

...

I'm back from my New Zealand holiday but I'm still dreaming of New Zealand.

Did this guided flying "tour" while I was there. I basically flew a plane with the guidance of an experienced flight instructor and it was way cool! My instructor told me the organisation he works for also conducts flight courses for those who are seriously interested in learning more.

Really hope that someday I will be blessed with the finances to enroll myself in such a course. It will surely be a fantastic experience, living my life to the limit, living my dreams, and doing something not many others can claim to have done.

People will say he's got a bike license or she's got a driving license. And I would say I have a pilot license. Aha, surely that sounds a lot more significant!

Sleeping Husky

2008-08-21T23:51:00.006+08:00

Oh my sleeping husky the world's so wild
But you've built your own paradise
Thats one reason why I'll cover you sleeping husky
Hehehe...

Humour Mail 8

2008-08-19T17:40:00.006+08:00

The Humour Mail series is back! Hope you enjoy them as much as I did!
_________________________________________________________

A young wife, who was becoming frustrated with her young husbands constant demands for sex, decides to make a schedule for him, to cut down on the amount of times that they will have to make love for the rest of their marriage.

While getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of paper, "Honey, you know I love you, but your never ending requests for sex are leaving me drained and really tired. So I propose that we only have sex on days that start with the letter 'T', to minimise the frequency of our lovemaking sessions. Don't be mad at me honey, just understand where I am coming from, and let me know if my request is too demanding of you."

On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator magnet and sticks the note to the fridge door, hoping that her sex craved husband will be understanding and accepting of her proposal when he reads it.

Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator and notices that her note has been replaced with a note from her husband that reads, "Baby, I didn't' realise that I was putting you under so much pressure and I'm sorry.

I accept your proposal and have even taken the extra step of listing at the bottom of this letter, those days starting with the letter 'T' to make sure that we are on the same page.

1. TUESDAY 2. THURSDAY 3. TODAY 4. TOMORROW

P.S. I love you too, and remember it's still TODAY, I am waiting for you upstairs."

_________________________________________________________

"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."

"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.

"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve.

"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"

"I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind - either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."

"Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!"

So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.

"Hi there," says Steve,"It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me."

"Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised."

Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "Shit! THAT'S the word!”

_________________________________________________________

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Mr. Smith asked: "What is the usual tip?"

"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great."

"Is that so?" snorted Mr. Smith. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."

"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."

"What are you studying in school?" asked Larry.

The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."

_________________________________________________________

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida, his wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email, unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, he did his best to type it from memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen.....

DEAREST WIFE...JUST GOT CHECKED IN...EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW... P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE.

_________________________________________________________

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"

"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "80 is the worst age of all!"

"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.

"No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

"Do you have trouble crapping?" asked the 70-year-old.

"No, I crap every morning at 6:30."

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so tough about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00!"

Spies

2008-08-04T21:39:00.001+08:00

Why are so many people privatising their blogs these days?

Could well be because of spies.

Spies who read your blog and pass judgmental remarks about you based on your posts, actions and beliefs.

Spies who report any inappropriate conduct to the higher authority.

Spies who would do anything for personal or monetary gains.

To bloggers, blogs are an avenue for the freedom of speech, the freedom of expression. Spies turn them into their haven of "let the cat out of the bag" information.

No thanks to spies aka little twits with no backbone, readers now have to bear the inconvenience of logging in whenever they want to access certain blogs.

That said, I will not be following the trend to privatise my blog anytime soon. It has always been a public one and it shall remain public. And I shall also continue saying whatever I want to say.

Let them spy all they want. Let them judge all they want. Let them report all they want. I couldn't care less.

Afterall, it would make my day if there were people so interested in my private life, such that they are willing to spy on me and listen to me "suan" them.

Funny, don't you think?

The Unknown Citizen

2008-08-03T00:40:00.004+08:00

Are we the unknown citizens? Do we conform to everything society implicitly or explicitly tells us to do or believe? Is the right thing to do always the standard that society sets out for us? If so, haven't we lost our individuality?

Here's some food for thought.
___________________________________________________________________

(To JS/07/M/378 This Marble Monument Is Erected by the State)

He was found by the Bureau of Statistics to be
One against whom there was no official complaint
And all the reports on his conduct agree
That in the modern sense of an old-fashioned word he was a saint
For in everything he did he served the Greater Community
Except for the War till the day he retired
He worked in a factory and never got fired
But satisfied his employers Fudge Motors Inc
Yet he wasn't a scab or odd in his views
For his Union reports that he paid his dues
(Our report on his Union shows it was sound)
And our Social Psychology workers found
That he was popular with his mates and liked a drink
The Press are convinced that he bought a paper every day
And that his reactions to advertisements were normal in every way
Policies taken out in his name prove that he was fully insured
And his Health-card shows he was once in hospital but left it cured
Both Producers Research and High-Grade Living declare
He was fully sensible to the advantages of the Installment Plan
And had everything necessary to the Modern Man
A phonograph, a radio, a car and a frigidaire
Our researchers into Public Opinion are content
That he held the proper opinions for he time of year
When there was peace he was for peace
When there was war he went
He was married and added five children to the population
Which our Eugenist says was the right number for a parent of his generation
And our teachers report that he never interfered with their education
Was he free? Was he happy? The question is absurd
Had anything been wrong we should certainly have heard

- W. H. Auden

iPod Touch

2008-08-02T10:22:00.003+08:00

Finally got my hands on something I've craved for for so so so so long. And this pretty new addition about settles my immediate wish list. Happy happy :)

Weird Names

2008-07-26T08:33:00.004+08:00

Derived from an internet news article. Frickin funny!
___________________________________________________________________

WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A family court judge in New Zealand has had enough with parents giving their children bizarre names here, and did something about it.

Just ask Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. He had her renamed.

Judge Rob Murfitt made the 9-year-old girl a ward of the court so that her name could be changed, he said in a ruling made public Thursday. The girl was involved in a custody battle, he said.

The new name was not made public to protect the girl's privacy.

"The court is profoundly concerned about the very poor judgment which this child's parents have shown in choosing this name," he wrote. "It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap, unnecessarily."

The girl had been so embarrassed at the name that she had never told her closest friends what it was. She told people to call her "K" instead, the girl's lawyer, Colleen MacLeod, told the court.

In his ruling, Murfitt cited a list of the unfortunate names.

Registration officials blocked some names, including Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit, he said. But others were allowed, including Number 16 Bus Shelter "and tragically, Violence," he said.

New Zealand law does not allow names that would cause offense to a reasonable person, among other conditions, said Brian Clarke, the registrar general of Births, Deaths and Marriages.

Clarke said officials usually talked to parents who proposed unusual names to convince them about the potential for embarrassment.

On Holiday!

2008-07-18T14:10:00.006+08:00

Just in case you were wondering why I haven't been updating my blog for the past week, that's coz I am on leave this entire week and have limited access to the internet!

I'm on leave - away in New Zealand for 10 days! Will upload the photos when I get back!

Foreign Product In A Foreign Land

2008-07-11T00:51:00.002+08:00

Guess what I found today? Hahaha! I was doing some shopping in the evening when I stumbled upon this Asian grocery store which sold this. Truly a foreign product in a foreign land!

This may be a common product in Singapore, but it ain't so in Australia. You won't find these drinks at any of the major supermarkets. The grocery store was actually the first store I stumbled upon which sold these packet drinks.

But at what cost?

Well at a whopping AUD$1. The equivalent of S$1.35 roughly, or 3 times what one such packet drink would cost in Singapore!

An expensive import, I guess!!

Third Time Lucky

2008-07-10T08:55:00.009+08:00

Pictures of a third shopping spree and self prepared dinner two days ago! And this noobish cook decided to prepare eggs and luncheon meat sandwiches with pineapple toppings. Well please do not follow in my footsteps because I can tell you it is NOT a good combination.

Then I reverted to the usual eggs, luncheon meat and hashbrown sandwiches and they were much better :)

Third shopping spree

Frying the hash browns

Preparing the luncheon meat

Then add some eggs

Hot and crispy, ready for consumption!

The awful combination

The traditional sandwich

Never have this for dinner!

Great Ocean Road

2008-07-07T08:47:00.017+08:00

Here are the photos for the Great Ocean Road day tour yesterday. And there are more photos compared to last week, cuz phototaking is allowed this time!!

First photo stop

Great views to kickstart a splendid day

The river at Torquay

Entrance to the Great Ocean Road

Urquhart Bluff

The magnificent shoreline

Apollo Bay township

A quaint looking town...

A town nestled somewhere between the ranges...

A town where the beach is just a minute away...

And a town where I had lunch at!

The Twelve Apostles

And such is the admiration from... future apostles?

Port Campbell National Park

Entrance to the Twelve Apostles

Aerial view of Loch Ard gorge

The Loch Ard gorge

Unique stone formations

Jaws of the gorge

"London Bridge"

And a long climb up after the views and pictures

Such is the sheer beauty of nature

Sunset over the Great Ocean Road

Port Campbell township

Sunset over Port Campbell

Phillip Island + Penguin Parade

2008-07-01T16:52:00.009+08:00

Went on a half day tour to Phillip Island on Sunday. Unfortunately no cameras and photos allowed at the Penguin Parade itself, so the below pictures are all I've got :(

Yeah, cuddle me and keep me warm

Fridge magnets at the gift shop

Welcome to the penguin parade!

And the penguins are really cute!

Koala Conservation Centre - Phillip Island

Can you spot the koala?

Oooh how relaxing to have a house by a pond!

Reminiscent of a kampung?

Cooking Spree

2008-06-30T07:58:00.009+08:00

Did a fair bit of cooking over the weekend and must admit it was quite fun actually.

Washing the dishes wasn't as bad either. And just to digress a little, I think all the household chores I've had to do so far have been pretty okay, EXCEPT ironing. Oh I HATE ironing clothes.

Anyway, do take a look at the pictures below, courtesy of chef Darren Lau hehehe. Finally perfected the art of cooking the oatmeal cereal my father usually prepares. Hope you drool!

Menu

Friday (Dinner) - Tuna + Bacon + Egg Sandwich

Saturday (Breakfast) - Oatmeal Cereal with Milo Powder

Sunday (Breakfast) Bacon + Eggs + French Toast

Preparing the eggs...

Western breakfast

Time to tuck in!

Cooking the oatmeal cereal

A cup of cereal with milo powder, anyone?

Frying the bacon...

Tuna, egg and bacon sandwich

Gathering the "raw materials"

And some nachos to round off the day...

A Week Has Passed

2008-06-22T05:22:00.012+08:00

First of all, sorry for the scarce posts.

I am solely depending on this unsecured wireless connection to get online. My company has got an internet connection too, but I just thought it wouldn't be nice to blog while at work.

So... I'll post whenever I get connected to this unsecured wireless connection :p

Okay so I survived the first week in Melbourne. Thank you all for your well-wishes, gifts and prayers, I appreciate them very much.

I must say I'm loving it here really, apart from the fact I miss my family, my friends and my beautiful husky. The weather here is cold, non-humid and very lovely indeed. Working style's very relaxed too, unlike Singapore. :D

There's no overpopulation problem here, so there's plenty to see and do without having to make my way between swarms of crowds. The sparsely distributed buildings in the smaller towns, the Victorian styled architecture in the city and the beautiful maple trees which leaves turn red in autumn simply adds to the relaxed atmosphere.

Besides, I'm blessed with an apartment which is situated right smack in the Melbourne CBD, so shopping and food's not a problem either. Plenty of supermarkets, convenience stores, fast food outlets, chinese restaurants, sushi stalls, indian restaurants, you name it, to choose from.

All in all, quality of life here's definitely much better.

But! My leg muscles are hurting now. Coz I went on a tour up to the Grampians National Park yesterday and you'll be proud of me for this. I did a 2-hour hike down the mountains and spent another hour getting to the foot of Mackenzie falls for some photos and climbing all the way back up thereafter.

Last but not least, here are some photos for ya!

Small waterfall

Big waterfall - McKenzie Falls

Sunset over the Grampians

2 hours of hiking through rocky terrain

Just one of the many streams we came across

The Grampians

All at a bird's eye view...

Sherlyn & Jason

Christina & Pearline

Family photo on departure day

Group photo at Changi Airport

First Day In Melbourne

2008-06-14T16:13:00.003+08:00

Hey peeps! I'm officially in Melbourne now. And if you are surprised as to how I got my internet up and running so fast, all I can say is that I've got an unsecured wireless network to thank. Hahaha!

The departure from Singapore was slightly delayed because some clown decided to check in his luggage but did not board the flight eventually. So the airport staff had to remove his luggage from the plane. Osama? Maybe.

As you might have guessed, I did not have much sleep on the plane. And also had to endure an one and a half hour wait at the customs due to long queues. So what was the first thing I did upon reaching my apartment?

Sleep.

Then I got up at 4pm local time (2pm Singapore time) feeling famished, and went downstairs to buy dinner. And now that I'm done with dinner, here I am, writing this post.

Look what's for dinner tonight...

SBS Management - Incompetent Hypocrites!!

2008-05-28T21:17:00.002+08:00

You've probably seen those "our bus captains have the right to work in a safe environment" all over bus interchanges and bus stops.

Well just a couple of weeks ago there was this article in the newspapers, exposing how the SBS management gave bus captains demerit points whenever they were ill and had to take medical leave.

What hypocrites.

Bus captains have the right to work in a safe environment, but have no right to take medical leave when they are unwell?

Are they suggesting it is not okay for commuters to beat them up, but okay for illnesses to get the better of them?

I've always thought the SBS management to be incompetent and unreliable, and this only reinforces my beliefs.

Glory Glory Man Utd

2008-05-17T22:57:00.004+08:00

Okay... so saturdays without premier league matches kinda feels weird.

Well I'm happy my beloved Man Utd wrapped up the season last week by winning the league title, and for the fact Chelshit can officially suck my shit now after an entire season of fruitless pursuit.

But that also marks another long boring 3 month wait for the new season to start.

However!!! We still have the champions league final to look forward to this coming Thursday. I'll certainly be hoping that Man Utd beats the shit out of a team which has no history, no legacies, no nothing and which just got lucky when a fraudulent Russian sugar daddy decided to buy over their club.

Onwards to the Champions league crown! Glory glory Man Utd!!

Downright Stupid

2008-05-05T20:08:00.003+08:00

The background info is that I'm a Video Ezy online customer which means I can rent an unlimited number of DVDs online every month at a fixed price. Recently, there has been a spate of customer complaints about not receiving the DVDs Video Ezy had sent to them. And I was one such customer.

Today I received the following email from Video Ezy:

Dear Members,

We would like to thank you for your kind patience and understanding during this period of suspension due to the issue of lost delivery. Recently, we encountered an unusual number of missing DVD report and we were forced to suspend your account for investigation purposes.

Since then, we have contacted SingPost and made an arrangement for them to monitor our packages closely. Hence, we will reactivate your account and resume services by continuing to send DVDs to you. To compensate for the period of disruption in services, we would like to extend our apologises by offering a 50% discount on your next billing!

Should you have any queries, you can email or contact us at 67470939. Thank you for your time and support.

Yours sincerely,
Video Ezy Online Customer Service

What do I think?

I think the 50% discount is great but I do feel it an injustice that Video Ezy has to suffer this loss, considering it wasn't even their fault in the first place.

I also think the workers in Singpost responsible for this are likely so downright stupid they can't even accomplish a simple task like sending the right mails to the right person. No wonder they'll probably be handling mails for the rest of their pathetic lives, and receiving the same pathetic pay for being downright stupid.

People might think I'm being mean but I really can't tolerate this level of stupidity. Stupidity which hinders efficiency, stupidity which disrupts an entire service. It is just unacceptable to me.

Another Busy Weekend

2008-04-28T20:23:00.003+08:00

Was a busy weekend.

Attended Kenneth's wedding on Saturday evening at Oriental Mandarin hotel. Rare times like this, you will actually see me don a long-sleeved shirt despite the heat and humidity. Apparently he invited my cousin who's his good friend in uni but I didn't manage to locate her.

The food was excellent. The pork ribs, so well prepared, tender and juicy. And the chunky, most irresistable fish fillet. So good I can still imagine myself savouring those delicacies right now.

Then yesterday, went to TJ in the morning and met up with Jason, Pearline, YJ & Sherlyn for dinner at Grapevine later on.

I'm happy to learn that everyone's progressing well in their respective careers. We've indeed come a long way, from the days of old where we probably spent the best days of our lives, meeting almost everyday in the LAS basketball court to have fun together.

And last but not least, of course, thanks very much for the generous treat Jason :)

The Light At End Of The Tunnel

2008-04-25T08:33:00.002+08:00

I am so happy, so happy, so happy
23 May's my last day with OSG, OSG, OSG
On 24 May a new chapter begins
This must be the light at the end of the tunnel

I am so happy, so happy, so happy
With less than 30 days to go, to go, to go
On 24 May a new chapter begins
This must be the light at the end of the tunnel

Australia Beckons

2008-04-23T21:05:00.008+08:00

So what's been on my headlines recently? The fact that I've got a job offer in Australia. But I'll come to that later. First of all I want to bitch and whine.

I want to bitch and whine about my current job which has become increasingly stressful in recent months. Why? Well all but a few months ago my company infamously decided to embark on this dubious campaign called the cost cutting campaign, so when three ex-colleagues quit my department earlier this month, upper management decided they only needed two replacements.

And not only was there going to be just the two replacements, they were to be recruited at a leisurely pace. So when my ex-colleagues left in early April after serving their one month's notice there were still no replacement headcounts in sight.

The leisurely paced recruitment, compounded by a budget squeeze, meant that new hires would not be coming on board anytime soon. So upper management conveniently decided to assign the work left behind by departing employees to those who remained, including myself. A team of seven now found itself down by three employees, yet had to remain committed to delivering the same amount of work in the same amount of time.

The orders for my region were previously handled by two persons, my colleague and myself. With the departure of three colleagues, my partner was assigned to another region and all of a sudden I find my workload increased by 100%! And there's the upper management, perched high in their ivory towers, pretending that nothing was going on.

Well screw you misers, as I'm not about to take on a two men's job with the same amount of pay, working at least 12 hours a day for two weeks consecutively on a non-quarter end month to save you some pennies. My take - you've got an inefficient and laborious hiring process of the highest level!

And now to the interesting bit. I've got a job offer in Australia which was initially proposed to me on I'll never forget this day - 10th April 2008. To which I said yes almost immediately of course.

The job offer couldn't have come at a better time, too! As mentioned above, I was really pissed with my current job so the fact this job offer came by was a form of deliverance for me.

Not only am I really happy and thankful for the timing of this job offer, but also for the people who recommended me for the job, and who fought hard to get my application approved. It is certainly not an everyday thing, getting an overseas job offer. Why would anyone want to busy themselves with the hassle of employing a foreigner when there are probably thousands of Australians out there ready to fill the post? I feel honoured and cannot wait to assume my new role.

But for now, I will first of all, be keeping my fingers crossed that my work permit will be approved.

Welcome!!

2008-04-22T22:24:00.002+08:00

Yes this will be my permanent new blog from today. Been browsing blogskins dot com for the past couple of days in search for a suitable design and here I am with this truly remarkable blogskin.

Oh yea and before I forget, the link to my previous blog can be found under the "Links" section if you ever need it.

Thanks for visiting and have a pleasant time browsing. G'night!